Remembering The GOOD in Goodbye

"Waiting for the end to come, wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned, it's out of my control.
Flying at the speed of light, thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid, it's hard to let you go...

Sitting an empty room, trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last, I wish it wasn't so...

The hardest part of ending is starting again."

Waiting For The End - Linkin Park

"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope but failure's all you've known?
Remember all the sadness and frustration, and let it go...

Iridescent - Linkin Park


I'm a huge music lover of all genres, but there is one rock band that holds a piece of my heart: Linkin Park.  Their music, mixed with their amazing lyrics can make just about anyone relate to them.  The day I received the news that my Me'Me' had passed away, when I jumped into my car to leave work, Waiting For The End was the first song playing on my radio.  It will forever bear that memory for me every time I listen to it.

Life is full of goodbyes.  Some are very hard to say, some are bittersweet, and others you just can't say it fast enough.  No matter the circumstance or how we feel about these moments, it still comes down to life being all about letting new events and people into our lives until it's time to say goodbye.

Pretty depressing, no?

But it's true, and it's necessary, and in a way it's beautiful! I've had to say goodbye in a lot of different ways throughout life.  I think we all have.  Goodbye to friendships, family, relationships, marriages; goodbye as a choice and goodbye through death.  We cry, we grieve, we get angry, we get scared. Often times, we feel like our life is over.  But time heals all wounds and after we give ourselves that time we're able to look back and see things from a different perspective.

There are some people I will always look back on and miss, especially my Me'Me'.  There are others that I look back on and I thank God for putting the distance between us!! It wasn't until they were gone that I realized how deeply they were hindering my life.  Those are the goodbye's that I can't say fast enough.

Then there are the bittersweet goodbyes.  Typically, looking back on them you still feel bittersweet.  The difference is, with the time that you've allowed to settle that feeling is also accompanied with peace.  I can now look back on fake friendships and even broken marriages, and smile.  I feel nothing but happiness for the other person and I wish nothing but the best for them.  God has brought my life to such a beautiful place today that I don't need to rely on my past and those old goodbyes for my happiness any longer.  Reaching that point of closure is one of the greatest feelings in the world... Living with forgiveness and no anger in your heart is an even better feeling.

Have you reached that point in your own life or are you still struggling with some bitterness?

There is one and only one constant in life, whom we don't ever have to worry about losing or parting ourselves from: our Heavenly Father.  I have my husband and my children, who have made my earthly life complete and satisfied.  However, at the end of the day they are just as human as I am.  Nobody ever knows where life is going to take us from one day to the next.  God is the only steadfast promise in my life, and in anyone else's who chooses to make Him their #1 priority.  He is the greatest peacemaker and closure for our hearts; He makes all of our goodbyes easier to go through.

I came across my old blog and found an entry that I had written just as I had gone through my divorce and officially became a single mom:

"A Love Song For My Lord... In your eyes I see admiration for a woman I could hardly recognize, if it weren't for the way you love me. This blessed feeling beyond happiness fulfills my desire for living life one breath at a time, with my best friend to hold my hand and reassure me that any trial can be overcome, and to remind me that my life will never have to be empty again. This lack of fear for a pain that kills worst than a murderer is absent from my mind, soul, and the heart that beats for your love so true. I will never have to hesitate the words "I Love You"-- they will always flow out of my mouth easier than any song I've ever sung. My prayers will remain fervently on our walk, that we'll some day join together in one life bigger than any world I could have drawn in my own mind. Our life together will have no ending, for it starts with a beautiful beginning and only stops when you lay down the pen and paper. You are forever the author of my love story."

Looking back on my writings during those times are fun, especially to see how far God has brought me in my life.  The words I wrote above still hold true. The Lord is forever the author of my love story and that makes my love for Him and my husband even greater.  In fact, God has always been behind every story in my life, including each and every person who has walked into my life and those who are no longer in it.


So blow a kiss to those who you've already waved goodbye to before, and thank them again for the roles they played in your life.  Keep moving forward into the darkness of tomorrow, being ever ready to embrace your next "hello" and "goodbye," and take comfort knowing the sun will always shine on.

"I close both locks below the window 
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple 
Sometimes goodbye's the only way

In cards and flowers on your window 
Your friends all plead for you to stay
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple 
Sometimes goodbye's the only way.

The sun will set for you,
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you."


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